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Saturday, March 6, 2010

New. Army. Fashion. Hip. Hooah.

Does leadership think this will help fend off the repeal of DADT? Why does the Army feel the need to change uniforms every few years? Are the fat, non-deploying acquisition corps officers sitting in the Pentagon so lazy that they can't even come out with seasonal lines?!?! Where are the spring colors in this uniform? Once crops are further diversified designers could rid themselves of drab poppy in favor of colors that POP (just like a Kalashnikov)! Finally, there are persistent rumors that this new uniform is the result of a secret collaboration between Christian Siriano and General David Petraeus at Paris Fashion Week 2010, but sources have remained as deep background as Deep Throat was until 2005.

Reports indicate that Christian Siriano (left) and GEN David Petraeus (bottom) secretly met in Paris during Fashion Week 2010 to pound out the final details of the new Army Afghanistan uniform through a fierce reconciliation process.

Stay tuned for more gossip... Below is the new spring fashion, appearing on the Khyber Katwalk as we speak, made of a luxurious blend of 50 percent cotton and 50 percent nylon. Just like the ACU "Lunar Line" that is being replaced, the new uniform is flame retardant because the Soldiers are so hot:

U.S. Army - "Afghan Offensive" [SPRING 2010 Line]
Available at your luxury AAFES department store.


Anonymous said...

now if we can only update the haircuts to this:


morganjb said...

How about the guy in my office who decided to buy and wear a camo hat around? The guy that I really would like to hit? That's what I thought this post would be about...